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Vanilla, by Billy Merrell
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From School Library Journal
Gr 10 Up—A novel in verse depicting three gay teens as they navigate life and love. Hunter and Vanilla have dated since middle school. Hunter really wants to have sex with Vanilla, who is less-than-excited at the prospect. The couple breaks up over Vanilla's unwillingness; they then have to learn how to navigate a friendship after a relationship. Angel, aka Clown, also narrates some of the chapters in this book, but serves only as a bystander and observer of Vanilla and Hunter's relationship. Vanilla is a romantic asexual, and once he understands this, he is relieved that he is not weird or wrong for not wanting to have sex. While the diversity of characters in this book is to be celebrated, its treatment of consent and asexuality is not. Hunter frequently states things like: "I think of Vanilla and how vanilla he is,/ and I want to hold him and tell him/ it's okay if he says he isn't ready,/ even if I don't believe him—/or that if he isn't ready,/ it's for all the wrong reasons." Hunter and many of the secondary characters continually pressure Vanilla to have sex even when he clearly isn't interested, and the message that there could be "wrong reasons" not to have sex is disturbing and potentially damaging. The acephobia throughout as well as issues with consent make this a difficult purchase to recommend. VERDICT Purchase Kathryn Ormsbee's Tash Hearts Tolstoy instead for solid asexual characterization.—Jenni Frencham, Columbus Public Library, WI
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About the Author
Billy Merrell is the author of Talking in the Dark, a poetry memoir published when he was twenty-one, and is the co-editor (with David Levithan) of The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing About Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Other Identities, which received a Lambda Literary Award. Merrell is also a contributor to the New York Times-bestselling series Spirit Animals, and has published fiction, poetry, and translations in various journals and anthologies. Born in 1982, he grew up in Jacksonville, Florida, and received his MFA in Poetry from Columbia University. He now lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his husband, author Nico Medina.
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Product details
Hardcover: 320 pages
Publisher: Push (October 10, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781338100921
ISBN-13: 978-1338100921
ASIN: 1338100920
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
11 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,092,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I loved this book so much! The poetry was beautiful and moving, and the story was completely engrossing. I’ll admit, when I started reading I was a little confused by the writing style. I’ve never seen a novel written entirely in poetry form. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work. But it works. It made me want to slow down and savor every word. Just when I thought I hated the villain, I read their point of view and realized there is no villain. There is no hero. We are all just doing the best we can. This book touched my heart.
An amazing book. I just finished it and felt so overwhelmed by how powerful the characters and language is. The characters really come to life, I feel like I know them, and they are so deeply flawed but so intimately expressive. I have endless praise for this book. If you read any queer literature in your lifetime, it should be this book. I wish it existed ten years ago when I was a boy in school. It would’ve changed my life. Now, though, I will still recommend it to everyone I know.
A very good read for a teenage to young adult crowd
This review originally appeared on herestohappyendings.com.Boy this is a hard review to write.Vanilla has been getting a bit of backlash from the book community lately, and I wasn't sure why - I mean, don't get me wrong, the book isn't perfect, but as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I can't say that I was incredibly offended by it as others were. I'm in no way invalidating their opinions on the book, or any issues at all that they might have with it - in fact, I kind of liked reading the good and the bad reviews for this one after I had finished reading, and I really agree with some of the things that people have said, both positive and negative.As an adult who has been out as bisexual since I was sixteen, I've always been comfortable with who I am, even if there have been people in my life who haven't agreed with it (and trust me, there have been). I spent a few years trying to figure things out for myself, and those were a trying few years to be honest - I really don't talk about it much because I was severely depressed and and went through some other things during that time period as well. I'm 28 now, and when I was a teenager, there weren't a lot of LGBTQ+ books to choose from, and to be honest, I think this book would have been a really nice read when I was struggling with things back then. As an adult, I read so many queer books, and I'm pretty judgemental about them.Do I think Vanilla is the most beneficial book? No.Do I think Vanilla is one of the better books out there? No.Do I think Vanilla is harmful and to be avoided at all costs? Again, no.In fact, I think that the author had a really good plan for this book - a really good idea that he wanted to implement and a story that he wanted to tell. I just think that along the way, some things got included that might be a little...well...offensive. Like the character being called Vanilla, for starters. But I'll touch more on that in a few moments.But here's the thing - I've found other books that some people rave about to be a bit offensive, too - everyone is going to find a few of them in their lifetime if you read enough. I'm not trying to make excuses here, because like I said earlier, I honestly believe that the author of this book wrote a good story. In fact, I loved the overall story. I thought it shed light on a lot of things and gave us a look into what it means to not only be a part of a long lasting couple, but also a couple that is slowly growing apart, and what it feels like to make a discovery about yourself, as part of that couple, while trying to come to terms with who you are.Hunter and Vanilla have been in love for ages - they started out as good friends, and realized that they had feelings for each other - feelings that they couldn't (and didn't want to) fight. So they went with it, and began a relationship that has always proven to be the one constant thing for both of them.However, Hunter has been wanting sex more and more, and while Vanilla doesn't want it right now - he wants to spend more time just being in love with each other before they commit to that level, so he tries to make Hunter understand. And while Hunter does understand, or at least tries to, he doesn't know how much longer he can go without it. So he starts pushing Vanilla away and finding new friends, talking to other guys online, and trying to figure out what he really wants in life. Meanwhile, Vanilla spends some time trying to figure out why he doesn't want sex - is it just because he isn't ready? Or is sex something that he just isn't all that interested in? When Hunter starts to push Vanilla away more and more, they start to wonder if their relationship can take it.Also in the story is a character named Clown/Angel (name change halfway through the book), who is also coming to terms with identity while swallowing his feelings for Hunter. Eventually, after things start to go downhill with Vanilla and Hunter, Clown/Angel is the one that is constantly there for Vanilla, telling him that maybe his lack of interest in sex might not be something that is a bad thing, but maybe that he is actually asexual.I wish we had actually had the chance to get to know the characters outside of their nicknames in the book - for example, we never learn Vanilla's true name, just that it's something that Hunter made up for him because he felt that Vanilla was...well...Vanilla. I really hate that we don't get down on a personal level with the characters in that aspect...and I also really disliked the fact that we refer to Vanilla as such throughout the entire book...and of course, it makes it out to be like the lack of sex that Vanilla is willing to have with Hunter is the exact reason that he is called Vanilla - you know, boring and not willing to get crazy, that kind of thing - it really should have been more thought out before the book was even finished, you know? That was one of those things that could have been done a hell of a lot better.I loved that the book was written in verse, though. It was really interesting to read the book that way - I've read a few others that are set up like this and I think that for a lot of them, it really adds an extra level of depth to the novel. I felt like that was the case in Vanilla, as well.One thing I didn't care much for was the points of view. At first, we have the viewpoints of Hunter and Vanilla, which are told in different fonts (I think Hunter's was bold, if it I'm not mistaken). Later in the book, we have the viewpoint of Clown/Angel, and at times I had a difficult time distinguishing between the three, but mostly between Vanilla and Clown/Angel. There aren't any actual names on top of the pages when the viewpoints change or anything, which can really cause some confusion.Vanilla really has some problems, sure, but I mean, the book isn't terrible. To be honest, for the first 80 pages or so, I was really enjoying the book, and even after I finished it I liked it a lot, and then I began to see the problems that it had, and it really started to grate on me. I don't think this is the worst book in the world (trust me, I've seen some reallllly bad ones), but I also think that things could have been done a lot better so not to be as downright mean (such as the nickname Vanilla - I mean, come on). But underneath all of that, a reader can really find a love story that unravels as both main characters (and later the third) are forced to come to terms with who they are and what they want, all while trying to maintain friendship.Note: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!
Hunter and Vanilla are inseparable BFFs, and sometimes a little more than that. They've been together for as long as anyone can remember and their friends and family assume that they're together romantically as well. But Hunter wants to move on from hugging and kissing to something more, and Vanilla isn't ready – and he's not sure he'll ever be with Hunter.Their relationship is closely observed by Clown, a boy in their school who is the life of the party and has an entire gang of gay friends flocking around him at all times. He's the sun they all orbit around and yet while Clown seems confident and outgoing, wearing his full face of make-up as a proud mask of who he believes he truly is, there is more to him than is painted on the surface.Hunter, Vanilla and Clown are all trying to find themselves underneath layers of teenage angst, changing feelings and prejudice. Tackling 21st century social issues head on, this book explores their different journeys in an honest and beautiful away.Vanilla initially caught my interest because it's written in verse, something you don't come across often within young adult fiction (though I wish it was more commonly used as it works so well for this audience, I feel). I am a big admirer of what Sarah Crossan has done with One and Moonrise, which are both told in verse, and I was curious to see how this way of storytelling would work with another author's voice at heart.And I can say that it was incredible.Though using less words than an average novel, I find this approach conveys so much more meaning and emotion, and it really allows the reader to understand the characters on a much deeper level. Each word, each sentence and each placement has been carefully chosen to add depth to the story. Not only does it work exceptionally well, it makes for a constantly surprising reading experience too (which doesn't happen often when you read as many books in a year as I do).And the contents of Vanilla was a beautiful one too, not only for the way it was written but even more so for the story it conveyed. It was an eye-opening and thought-provoking exploration of gender identity and sexuality; not just focusing on one or two options, but instead delving into the myriad of different directions the characters go in on their journeys to self-discovery.Diversity in all its shapes and forms might be hot theme in young adult fiction right now but don't let that make you think this is a book just jumping on that bandwagon. Vanilla was honest, raw and evocative – and a worthy addition to any YA reader's collection.
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Agustus 29, 2010
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